Saturday, March 28, 2009

The Dog jumped over the moon

My Dad had a dream about our dog last night.

Ferocious beast, I know.

Let me tell you about my dog; he is annoying. He is really fury and his favorite pass time is barking at people. When MY SISTERS brought him home we decided he needed a big, strong, and powerful name. You see he was so little and we didn't want him to have a complex so we gave him a big name. Many were discussed including Star Trek characters (we once had a cat named Oboe, oh wait or Odo I guess it the right name. That's not what I called the poor cat.), tons of names from Lord of the Rings, a few from Harry Potter, but we finally settled on the Greek God Hercules (Thank Heavens we didn't go for Zeus! Just thing of the power complex my dog would have then!) It is my theory that Herc (his nick name because those are required in our household) took his name to heart and head and he truly believes he is a big dog. That explained, yes my dog is mentally ill, but lets face it we all are.

Wow I get easily side tracked! Back to the dream. Oh more thing you need to know, Herc doesn't really do downstairs. He will go upstairs, but not down. I think he is scared of the basement. He hasn't even seen Silence of the Lambs or the Burbs! He must have a 6th sense about it.

(Please note he is chewing the plastic, not the actual toy.)

So my Dad had a dream that Herc ran down into the basement. He went down after him and picked him up and notice a wet spot on the carpet so he rubbed the dream Herc's nose in it (doggie toilet training technique apparently). As he was standing back up to walk Herc upstairs he saw another Herc looking dog run out from behind the couch, then another behind the furnace, and yet another from the toy room. Needless to say the Hercs were multiplying before his eyes. He assumed his kids had been bringing home all the stray Hercs they could find because they felt bad for the poor rascals and the egos that caused them to have no friends and family. Needless to say he woke up about this point and recounted the story after we read the scriptures as a family. I pointed out that none of his children are really into hoarding dogs but he on occasion had problems with forgetting he already got something and the Hercs could have been the result of such a mental blockade. Lucky for all of us it was just a dream. There aren't any extra Hercs hiding out in my house.

On a happier dream note, for the first time ever I remember my dream having a resolution!! I don't remember much about it but it ended with me sending some piano students out the front door and me saying goodbye with my best Donna Reed voice. The door closed scene fades to black and the alarm goes off. It was a beautiful moment at 5:15 this morning!

Thursday, March 26, 2009

I just opened my eyes part deux

I drove to Riverton for lessons again last night. Guess what I saw when I opened my eyes? That is right...another peacock! Probably the same one actually, but I have learned that if one of the peacocks get out the goal is to chase it until it flies back over the fence. Hopefully next time I will have the courage to try it instead of just closing my eyes pretending it isn't there!

P.S. Riverton has lots of strange urbanized animals. I swear I saw a pig walking in someones yard yesterday. Don't worry the llama and goats have come out too since winter is hopefully really over.

I just opened my eyes...

I am amazed. I wouldn't call myself an overly ignorant person. I am fairly aware of my surroundings and the people in my world. It is interesting though how blind I really am. In general I think as humans we look for and at the things we want to see. I am not immune to this.

I always work really hard to try and look at the world through different eyes. I try to see multiple sides to every story and lets face it I have become very analytical. I love observing people and situations. I try to imagine how different people must feel and how situation affect them. I love learning about people and I have learned a lot about empathy because of it. I am a firm believer in taking a walk in new shoes.

Yesterday I realized I have never been very good at looking at myself. A lot of times I just focus so hard on other people and things so that I don't have to look and see things about myself I don't want to see. I finally opened my eyes and realized something, I am so blessed. I love people and yesterday I realized there are loads of people who love me. People who love me in spite of my flaws and imperfections. People who want to be my friends and want to know about me. People who would laugh with me and cry with me. People who would fight to save me. People who would see me even when I look past them because my tunnel vision is so focused else where.

Don't get me wrong I have felt this before, I have seen inklings of this, but in the last few months I was blind to it. I was focused on other people and other things. Pieces of my life I had no control over. Situations in my past I have observed and re observed and even though all the signs and messages were clear I was ignoring them because I didn't like what they were saying to me.

Opening my eyes has opened my world. Everything seems more vibrant today. My world seems so easy so livable. Have I changed? No not really, I am still human. I still have many very apparent flaws, things about me that are hard to acknowledge. Today my flaws won't bring me down though they will make me stronger and better. Today I don't ache for the situations and people I can't change, but I am full of respect for the people who loved me while I figured out where I stood.

Where did the eye opening come from? At the end of the day yesterday I looked back at my day (it was a pretty crazy one! Lets face it my life generally is) and I realized that there were a dozen or so people who knew it was going to be a crazy evening for me and EVERY SINGLE ONE of those people, plus a few others sent me messages of support. I am sure some of them were sending the message while thinking, "I am happy it isn't me" but honestly looking at that at the end of an odd day makes a girl feel pretty special. To know there were so many people aware of me and what I was doing and going through. I feel so honored.

So here it my shout out to those people, and to you I say...THANK YOU! I love that I know you!

Saturday, March 21, 2009

Slime Line

What is Slime Line? I don't know. Probably because it doesn't exist. Slim Line however does exist. Please make a mental note Slim is not = to Slime. Just in case you didn't know that. Plus I don't recommend hanging slime in your closet. That just sounds messy.

That is only a brief preview of my evening. The rest is summed up quite well in this video. Before we get there here are a few other highlights.

1. Friend to Waitress- "This may be hard for you, but..."
I recommend not starting a conversation with your waitress like this. You feel really obligated to leave a big tip because you questioned her intelligence.

2. Screaming YES in public
I do however recommend doing this as long as you aren't embarrassed when everyone around you realizes it was you because all of the people you use to be sitting with are no longer at the same table.

3. This doesn't come in Tiny...That's okay I will just get a women's large.
Psych makes for an entertaining event. After all Psychics do come in above Bounty Hunters. (side note- If you have not seen the show is time to step up to the plate and accept the fact that you have been missing out!!)

4. Senile Sue- A Glimpse into my future
Was I really talking about Canned Green Beans tonight? May I go on record and re-state my opinion again that Fresh and Frozen are WAY BETTER then canned. I don't care if I lose all my teeth and have to smack on them with my gums! Don't ever feed me the canned mush!

5. Warning, you are sitting where there use to be a pile of cheese.
Why not do this to a stranger? Especially when just minutes before you were feeling bad for the bus boy that had to clean up the cheesy escapade? (He totally caught us staring at him. OH WELL!) Just imagine how grateful you would be if a dear deranged stranger from the next table over came up to you and informed you what your table looked like before you got there. Who wouldn't love this? If you are lucky you will get an arm around your shoulder when the information is delivered. How much better when you realize it is the same girl who was just screaming YES at the top of her lungs.

6. DOI or DOY? Also known as the main event

Please Watch this link. It is worth your laughter.

Bring on the Madness!!

I don't get March Madness. I don't follow college basketball not even the Mountain West. I thought I should state that upfront just in case there is any questions at the end of this. That warning out of the way, I filled out 6 brackets this year. That's right I said 6. You may be asking WHY, my rebuttal to you is WHY NOT??

I have a history of running with the crazies in my life. I am not sure why, but I hope to analyze and come up with an answer by the end of this blog. Let's start with a few scenarios.

1. Black Friday
I hate shopping. Most people know that about me. Unless it is shoe shopping I am usually not too excited about doing it. Tack on more than one hour to the want to go shopping offer and I run away. For some reason though I tend to be the front runner in the family these days for Black Friday shopping. I scout out the adds, make maps of stores and meeting points, and create a time schedule so we can hit a new store every hour. Madness Yes. Success Rate? HIGH!

2. No Deal
I have always had a desire to be on a game show. I don't watch a lot of game shows but I honestly think I could win an additional prize for having the best reaction to winning a prize. Let me win some dishes, free groceries, a new car, etc. Any thing coupled with the words free or win I get pretty stoked about. So when I hear there is an open casting call for Deal or No Deal I pull out all my best moves! I buy some dinner to go, grab a blanket and a camping chair, and sit in a parking lot all night. About 2 in the morning I thought nothing really comes of open casting calls like this, but I didn't budge. I needed to thrive off the opportunity to show the friendly casting folk the only GAME SHOW CONTESTANT SUE HARDY and what I had to offer them. I almost even whipped out a marketing proposal. How does this story end? They said NO DEAL!

3. Did someone say FREE?
You wouldn't think a person could have more then one sleep in a parking lot story, but I do. You see I was a young college student and the Olympics were coming to Salt Lake City. Tickets for the Medals ceremonies were being offered for FREE! Not only do you get to see the medals awarded there was a comedian and a concert each night as well!! So I joined the rage. I nearly froze to death that night, in fact that was one of the coldest winters in my memory. I barely made the cut, but got tickets to two different shows. Macy Gray- eh, Train- YES!

4. Midnight Release
Who started midnight release parties? Don't they know that I crave this type of crazy? (Excuse the typo, I meant craze. Crave this type of Craze.) I have dressed up for midnight movies, I have been to TONS of book releases at the beautiful hour and now tonight will be my first midnight video release. WHY??? Why can't I just go the next morning? There will still be copies in stock. Its not like I am going to rush home and watch it. But, No that isn't good enough for me. I have to be where the madness is! There are so many memorable midnight release memories, but the fondest coming to the brain right now was Harry Potter 7 after which my brother and I stayed up ALL NIGHT and finished in apx. 10-12 hours. I won $150 for doing it! Worth it? YES! Took a nap after I finished YES! Had anyone to talk to about the book for days? NO!

5. 4 Day Concert in Colorful Colorado
I didn't really enjoy my last year of choir in high school so I decided that instead of going on an organized tour with the sane people I jumped ship and headed to Country Jam USA. I had no idea at the time but it is like the Woodstock for Country Music. I think for most people it was a really good excuse to be drunk for four days straight, I thought people went for the music. I also didn't realize it came with so many drunk people. I never knew there were so many friendly drunk people out there either, in fact there was an old man and woman who though I was their child. The MAJOR sunburn should have been expected, but I wasn't a good planner back then and learning to have amazing control over bodily functions became a great benefit. The beauty of the madness though, we actually did enjoy the music and got GREAT seats everyday because we didn't have hang overs. If my parents had known about all the madness they probably would have never let me go!

Needless to say, Madness is my middle name. Why? WHY NOT?? Is it always worth it? Not always in a hard core evidence, but no one can ever accuse me of not making the most out of what this world has handed me. Plus if you live to tell there are amazing stories in the end.

So far today the amazing story is that ONE of my SIX basketball brackets is WINNING! Does anyone else smell this sweet success?


PS I just got home from buying Twilight at midnight. BOUYA!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

There is something afoot...

My life is bizarre! There is never an end to the madness. I love to laugh. I love to have fun and to be perfectly honest, I do love my perfectly odd life! On occasion though it is just strange enough to blog about (this all happened in one day believe it or not.)

1. He loves me, he loves me not- I think I understand boys. I don't. I listen to story after story from men about love lost, and it always leaves me wondering, do men AND women realize that they are both idiots? I love peoples stories and here is why- Men think women are mean and judgemental. Women think men are mean and judgemental. Men think women are picky and rude. Women think men are picky and rude. Men think women have impossible standards. Women think men have impossible standards. I would continue, but I am afraid you all see where this is going. Meet the big complicated dating circle. My Philosophy...Can't we all just talk about it our issues and get over them? Let's just be friends and give everyone a chance even if they don't meet the idle you have ingrained in your mind. The truth is you aren't perfect he/she isn't going to be perfect either. Give everyone a chance if nothing else you will learn something about yourself even if it is just patience.

2. The Blast from the Past Phone Call- So with all the issues of point #1 on the brain I get a message on my phone asking for my company on a date. Knowing how I feel about choosing to be a hypocrite or in every case trying not to be one, I realize that I am going to have to be a nice girl and go on this date. I am not going to lie, I feel awkward. I haven't seen or heard from this guy for probably a year and a half, and I am a little freaked out by the fact that he tracked down my number. It would have been so easy to not call back or to fake married. I however am not that girl. So I have a date. How nice that there is a boy that wants to go out with me! (I have got to be optimistic)

2. Sakada- I deal with a lot of names of people, places and things at work. This name was pointed out to me today as the odd name of the day and then it was coupled in this phrase- "I Sakada quarter back" (Translation- mockery on the name saying it drawn out to mean I sacked the quarter back) That poor child growing up probably never lived down that name. Hopefully it was really a place or last name. I really hope that those A don't really make the harsh A (apple) sound.

3. Australia- So in order to find balance in my life I watched a good long movie and I LOVED IT! I love EVERY MINUTE of it! In fact when it ended I was ready to start it again just to stay away from real life for that much longer. Hugh Jackman the gruff look works for you! DANG BOY! Seriously though, if you can handle a long flick, this was a great one! The cinematography, The actors, The Scenery, etc. It was great!

4. Hint of pre green- After the conversation, the date request, the joke, and the movie had all ended. I was offered a row of mint brownies (Mint green in honor of St. Patrick's day the next day). It is amazing how sweet of an offer of a whole row of mint brownies really is! I only took 2 though, brownies, not rows. I ate one for dinner and saved one for breakfast for the actual St. Patrick's day.

I can honestly say my crazy life still has great balance. I hope you all had a great St. Patrick's day! Hopefully you didn't have to resort to Christmas Frog socks and a green boa like I did!

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

The Diet Coke Experiment

So it happened today at work. A challenge was presented and accepted then carried out stopping the consumption of diet coke in one woman for 45 minutes. Here is the story from my eyes, as a completely, or almost completely innocent bystander.

Coworker #1- "I am ready for a diet coke."

Innocent Bystander (AKA-me)- (looks at the clock) Yeah it is that time for you (10am is the ideal for the morning fix)

Coworker #2- "Seriously? Is it really clock work? I think you should wait until at least 11."

Thus the challenge was presented.

Coworker #1 "I can't do that! I NEED my caffeine fix. It is my vise."

Coworker #2 "You are addicted, you need a break. Just go until 11"

The Challenge is presented again.

Coworker #1 "I know I am addicted it is like my coffee. It is diet Coke time!"

Coworker #2 "I am just helping you do what your Dr. told you too, its only an hour!" (Stemmed from earlier conversation about Dr. telling Coworker #1 to cut back on diet coke. "Just Try it!"

After the 3rd presentation of the challenge it is accepted with silence and a little laughter from the innocent bystander.

15 minutes later...

Coworker #1 "I am going to die" (Leg Shaking uncontrollably)

Coworker #2 "You are doing Great"

Innocent Bystander thinks "Why are we doing this again?" as the awkward silence pursues.

15 more minutes later

Coworker #3 enters and tried to talk to coworker #1 to no avail. Finds out about the challenge and makes a funny about there being no diet coke left in the vending machine.

Coworker #2 "Run before you get punched"

Coworker #1 Almost punches coworker #3 and tells him he is about to fall below the yellow line. Don't mess with her right now. Verifies the vending machine really still contains diet coke. (Which is did, don't worry, this isn't a horror story nor a bad nightmare)

15 more minutes later again

Coworker #1 decides 45 minutes is close enough to an hour. Enters the lunchroom while Coworker #2 and Innocent Bystander listen closely... Pop

Coworker #1 "AWE, Sweet Nectar"

Innocent Bystander laughs, mostly grateful that the awkward silence is gone!

Coworker #2 "Good work, tomorrow we will aim for the full 60 minutes.

You know I used quotations to tell this whole story and yet I am pretty sure I may have gotten some of the word for word wrong so don't quote me on it. I did get this next bit word for word though... Coworker #1's advise to you and the final words of the conversation, "Don't quit cold turkey it isn't worth it"

I am guessing when she reads this she will once again vouch that life with out diet coke is life with out living.

Friday, March 6, 2009

Holy Peacocks Batman

Thursdays are like a marathon day for me, I work all day and then I teach lessons all evening. So I pull up to one of the houses I teach at out in Riverton and I do a double take...there are definitely peacocks walking around on the side walk. Now once I truly confirmed with myself that I wasn't hallucinating I started to wonder if they were dangerous. You see my lesson was about to start so I needed to get out of the car, but what if they are man-eating peacocks? I don't know anything about the birds. Do they ever have a wild side? If I pretend I can't see them will they pretend to not see me? Should I wait this out in the car? Does it hurt to be pecked to death?

Eventually I got out of the car and went with the I can't see you, you can't see me method. I tell you what getting a guitar out of the car with my eyes closed not easy! Good news though, it worked. I survived to tell the story.

I make it into the safe house and ask my student about the ginormous birds, apparently someone thought it would be idea to have them as pets. Go figure. About half way through the lesson the birds decided to cross the street. You wouldn't believe the chicken crossing the road jokes that went through my head. Then all of the sudden these young boys start charging the monsters and guess what...Peacocks can fly! DANG! Apparently the birds belonged to the boys who were doing the chasing but honestly didn't they realize they would fly up to the roof if they charged them? It didn't seem like the smartest corralling method. I laughed out loud about it, then apologized to my student for paying more attention to the birds then the music.

Here is what I learned from this little experience...

1. I know very little, if anything about birds, but particularly about peacocks.

2. Nature played a mean trick on women. The Boy peacock was so much pretty then the girls and it made me realize human men (as opposed to peacock men since that makes so much sense) have smaller non expanding hips, higher metabolism, and don't have to worry about make-up and leg shaves. I would take the pretty feathers (or skinny hips) any day!

3. Nature played an even meaner trick on men. The boy peacock was the first one caught and put back in its pen. Not to smart if you ask me. The smart female flew up to the roof and stayed there until all the other birds were safely put away then she took her time and eventually walked herself right in to the pen when she wanted to be in it.

4. I would rather be smart then pretty.