Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Dear Santa or other generous backer or sugar daddy, whoever,

I have broken down my list of needs and wants accordingly please don't disappoint me.

I NEED jumper cables because apparently I am incapable of turning my light off in my car. Since I am not able to change my behavior it is vital that I get the gift of jumper cables to offset my future stupidity

I WANT a robot that shovels snow. Do they even make these? I promise though I would share him with my senior citizen neighbors just as long as my drive way gets done with out me having to get up an extra 20 minutes early.

I NEED slip covers for my down stairs couches. Now I realized you think this isn't a need but remember how I ever so KINDLY let my room mate have a cat even though I swore no pets EVER? Well that generosity has led me to NEED couch covers. I know I know I only paid 20 dollars per hotel couch and that one slip cover will be worth more then all four couches combined. Just think how pretty my basement would finally look with them.

I WANT my own direct highway that will lead me everywhere I need to go. Preferably one that will get me to my lessons in Riverton on time. I realize the building of said highway may create a little back up for at least a few months so I propose we build during the summer when I don't drive out to Riverton twice a week so I will not be negatively affected by my own Christmas gift.

I NEED new materials for my ipod. Looking back on the year I have been particularly decent at being frugal. I have ALMOST completely cut out my spending that go towards entertainment such as movies and cds and mp3 books. Due to my faithfully frugal nature I NEED new ipod tunes or I will be insane by the end of 2010.

I WANT peace on Earth and Goodwill to all! After all it is Christmas and the world should be a happier place.

Now off to finish my Christmas shopping!

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

I stole instead of of thanked...

How did I get to this point? That is right, I stole something this weekend. In my defense...I didn't mean too and it was completely accidental. Maybe they will let me off easy. Lets review the weekend to figure out where it went wrong.

Thanksgiving= Good.
Movie with roommate=Good.
Black Friday= DIDN'T HAPPEN

I think I see the problem.

Here is the story...I didn't go black Friday shopping, instead I went out for the 3 day sales on Saturday. I found myself in a happy place called ikea. In said happy place all reason walked out the door. My motor skills were still mostly functioning correctly as my mouth kept blabbing and my hand kept grabbing. I love Ikea. It is a truly happy place...oh yeah, the story. So you know when you get to the end and there are like 4 real checkout and approximately 400 self check outs? Well I should never ever use self check out. You ask why? Let me explain:

1. I get a panic attack every time the stupid this makes a noise.
2. There is always at least 1 item that will take me 2 minutes to scan which makes me start sweating profusely and makes the scanning process harder.
3. I am paranoid the people in line behind me will start chanting slow poke or something mean like that.
Then newly added reason:
4. They increase the odds that I will steal in my life time.

So I am checking myself out at the self scanner trying desperately to hurry but of course it is ikea and I don't want to buy a bag so I am trying to stack my stuff correctly as I scan it so I can carry it out like a pack mule instead of in a sack like a normal person. So I cut a corner...I know I am buying 4 count them 1,2,3,4 throw pillows. Since I was buying 4 throw pillows I instead of scanning each individual pillow cover I just scanned one four times. It saved tons of time.

When I got home I happily started putting my throw pillows together which I did have 4 of, but some how I ended up with 5 pillow cases. I double and triple checked my receipt and had only definitely only paid for 4 covers. I only needed four. But my over active deal grabbers and my lack of reason brain apparently couldn't do four in the pillow section. So blame it on whoever let this brain dead girl in that store but I stole extra pillow case.

The happy ending- I did go in and returned my stolen item and it went like this.
Sue- "I accidentally stole this and I want to return it to you"
Sales Associate- (laughing, laughing and more laughing)
Sue-"umm...I am so so sorry I didn't mean to" (starts to walk away maybe they will forget I ever spoke)
Sales Associate- (Still laughing) Hollers "Want me to have security follow you around this time?" (More laughing)
Sue- head hung in shame and mortification
Meanwhile the sales associate has all his coworkers rolling around on the floor laughing about the girl who stole.
Sue- Perks up as she goes for round 2 of ikea shopping. Though the sounds of laughter continue to ring through Ikea today, I am the proud owner of 4 beautiful throw pillow and 0 stolen items.

Now I know not to ever miss black Friday shopping again. It makes me do crazy things when I don't shop with the insane.