Saturday, September 26, 2009

Between a Rock and a Hard place...

Or perhaps sometimes you find your self sinking in sand...up to the rims

Don't worry, as long as you have a team of good faithful friends and some extra horse power you will eventually make it out.

You may need to brush off after because the odds that you face planted while sinking are great.

But lets be honest, as long as you can laugh it off and still have fun it doesn't matter how terrible your odds are. At least you made it out alive.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Some gals have all the luck

So I have a friend. She is lucky. In fact we will call her Lucky Scrunchy, partially because she named herself that and partially because she is the luckiest person I know. She is constantly winning concert/movie/sporting event tickets on the radio. She just has the luck.

I however, do not.

I wish I did. In fact recently I have tried a few things hoping it would change my luck, I thought it may be working until... well let me give you an example of my recent luck.

Monday July 13th- I found out my friend had access to Harry Potter Premier tickets for the next day. Granted we had to pay for them, but this was GREAT news considering I was leaving for Florida at the end of the week. I struck gold with out even trying.

Tuesday July 14th- I am EXCITED! Harry Potter here we come!! We are in the car, we are buckled, and we are on our way. LUCKILY we left early because we ran into some stop and go traffic on the freeway. It is okay though! We are going to Harry Potter and have reserved seats! BAM! CRUNCH! SERIOUSLY??? Yes, in fact I did get hit by a Semi Truck in stop and go traffic on the freeway. Yes, he had been behind me the whole time we were driving in the slow moving traffic. Yes, I did miss Harry Potter because of it and Yes, my car looks like crap. So much for that goldmine of luck.

*Please note Lucky Scrunchy and my sisters saw Harry Potter at a REALLY special premier on Monday- no they did not have to pay for their tickets, and no they did not get hit by a semi.

So I start working on my luck again and I get on the 1:00 am flight to Orlando FL. Fate would not let it be so. I sat by myself, next to some lovey dovey newlyweds. Super fun. Also I don't know exactly how, seeing how it was off, but sometime between the time we left Salt Lake to the time I got to Florida my phone battery decided to kick the can. Not a very good thing when you are constantly anticipating insurance people to call. Luckily Stevo has the same phone as me and I was able to get my message from my appraiser and work everything out there.

Back to being lucky then...we aren't able to get our hotel room until 4pm (please remember we came in on a 1am flight) the Hardy's start to get cranky after a bit. So we decide to go to Gatorland. Why not? None of us have ever been to Gatorland and it sounds like the perfect way to waste a day. Overall I was actually quite impressed and found my vacation was starting off quite well. We got some goofy pictures which make me laugh and the first few shows we went to were quite funny.

We decide to go to some of the shows one of which was called up close encounters. There are two men running the show and the first thing they ask is for anyone in the audience who is a little freaked out by "creatures" to raise their hands. Well, I don't particularly care for creature no, but I don't care what those dudes do with their hands/feet/neck or any other body part they sacrifice for creepy crawlies. Apparently I should have taken the question at face value though because next thing I know one of the men runs up behind me and sits a padlocked wooden box on the bench. I didn't look at him because I don't want to know what he is doing back there, but then he pokes me and says (pointing to the box) that one is yours.

**please note in this moment how I reacted and how I WANTED to react are two VERY VERY different things.

Lets start with what I wanted to say..."No thank you. I appreciate the gesture, but I prefer your hands/legs/neck and any thing else you want to sacrifice for wild creatures be the subjects of their evening dinner. I am doing just fine up here in the stands. Go you! I support you in your job."

Here is what eyes BULGED out of my head and I laughed awkwardly. My brother started busting a gut. The rest of my family just stared, and watched the man run back down to his buddy on the stage. Then I started to sweat. I thought I had been sweating before in the Florida heat, but no, NOW I was sweating. I was thinking am I going to get out of this? Why in the world when I get picked out of the audience does it have to be to hold a creature best left alone in nature? Why can't I be with Lucky Scrunchy at a concert right now? Heck why didn't I go to Harry Potter today??? Gatorland seriously? Who* goes to Gatorland?

*Note we do for pictures like this
The show really gets started now and first up is the other "lucky" person in the audience on the other side who got a box by her. The man opens her box and shows the audience two large Tarantulas. They tell her to close her eyes and open her hand...I look at Steve who is still laughing at my impending doom. The lady has her eyes closed but she is freaking out! She peaks right as her guys is about to drop the large hairy spider into her hand and she screams and runs. The spider fell on the sand. They were kind to her, but you could tell they really wished she would have just raised her hand in the first place instead of looking like a fool in front of the crowd.

Now I start feeling stupid...I can't look like her when I go up. Don't get me wrong I am a complete wimp, but she is pathetic. I am not ready to be pathetic. In fact I am to young to be pathetic. I just wanted to be lucky. I am honestly going to have to hold what ever is in my box. I thought I may die right in my moment of realization, but then my friend came running up the stairs. Thinking time was over.

We chat for a minute...He unlocks and glances in my box and slams the lid down. He tells me I don't have to come down...come to find out the snake in my box is so poisonous that he isn't even going to touch it with his hands...Stevo has a look of disappointment on his face and I breathe a sigh of relief. The ministers of luck were smiling down on me. I even started to enjoy the rest of the show until the end... They decided to let the audience pick which box should be opened for the last creature of the day. Of course it is the biggest of the boxes on the stage and they decided they needed a volunteer. Stevo starts laughing and my buddy on stage say, "well I know just the gal. I have a friend here, we have been friends for about 20 minutes, her name is Sue. Sue can you come help me please?" Oh crap he said please now I have to go.

How does my good run of bad luck end?

That is right. Holding the butt of a big old Boa Constrictor. At least I got the butt. My friend told me to call heads or tails and I am NO FOOL at least poop washes off (do snakes poop? I am sure they must...maybe I will wikipedia it) bite marks are much more permanent.

Welcome to Florida Sue! We are glad you were our LUCKY girl today.