Sunday, February 8, 2009

And so it goes...

Change is inevitable. It lurks around corners just waiting to spring itself on you. Change kind of like the boogie man. You like to think you can control him (the boogie man after all is only in your head) and yet your subconscious can freak you out over the stupidest things. Okay maybe a bad comparison to change, but work with me here. I honestly like to feel like I have a grasp on the things that happen in my life and have control over them, but change is an unavoidable curve ball, even if you duck you get nailed in the head and it just hurts more then accepting it.

So why the dramatic beginning? Because it is my birthday week and I have convinced myself that I rule the world during this week of my life. I love my birthday. It is one piece of change I have always accepted. I don't know that I really support the getting older stuff, but I love looking over my life accomplishments from the last year and being able to see that I have become more grown up (this is at least the goal!) Looking over this last year the only good title I could think of was Change. Don't get me wrong it has been a GREAT YEAR!! I have learned more about myself then ever before. Honestly though the stupid boogie man kept catching me off my guard. I had some many curve balls that I kept trying to juggle so they wouldn't come down on me, but I couldn't prevent change. As of today though, looking back, I am proud that I survived. I did the best I could with what I was given. There are somethings I probably could have done differently that may have changed some of the mapped outcomes (retrospect give you that kind of thinking), but the truth is I did my best and I am the only person I can control. That makes this birthday another great one.

A couple of days ago I was asked what my greatest accomplishment of my life so far has been. So in keeping this an upbeat happy blog about change I am going to share the answers I came up with. Now don't be disappointed, starting a blog is not on this list. I know that is a tragedy but I had to cut something out of the top three and it was the casualty.

3. Finishing college with no debt. Still having no debt 2 new cars later. I know that is silly, but with the currently crashing economy I am proud that I don't have to worry.

2. Putting on my first ever concert filled with my own original music and then creating a music video. (I am not going to lie all of this SCARED the dickens out of me to do! but I still did it!!) Don't worry someday soon I will post the music video.

1. Having the best, most amazing support group ever. People are the most important to me. This year more then ever I know that I am loved. Some people question if this is an accomplishment. I admit loving and supporting others is the only thing I am really great at. I love everyone, but to build an keep a true lasting relationship with anyone it has to be built from the ground up and it is DANG hard work. I have failed at this in the past and even recently with people I didn't want to fail with. Often the ground broke for reasons I don't understand and may never understand, but looking around me this weekend I knew that there was a room full of people, family and friends, who would never leave me nor forget me even if I was the one breaking the foundation. There is no greater blessing, gift, or accomplishment then this.