So I have no idea how but Neil Diamond turned me on last night! The funny thing is I don't find him attractive, but when singing "Play Me" and taking off his jackets my heart started thumping and my voice jumped out of me with a major "OW OW, Neil baby I will live my life forever in blue jeans for you, OW OW" Then I turn my head and the #1Neil fan next to me is laughing at me. HOW did I get to this point?? I don't know. Let me retrace my steps...
It was a snowy day Friday so #1Neilfan and I decided to take trax. Trax however decided not to take us! Okay that is an exaggeration, but honestly Utah Transit Authority if you want me to actually pay for my Trax ticket then you need to clean out the money case on occasion so it will take my money. So trax was running double the trains (every 7 minutes instead of every15) and our train was coming and the machine wasn't working! So I saw some of the UTA security dudes and so I go up and explain my problem "Excuse me Madam, I have to go see the "Jazz Singer" and your machine won't let me do it honestly, would you like my $4, I sear on my Neil Diamond ticket I am not trying to get out of paying" and the tough security lady said in her Aussie accent, "Which train are you taking, this one? Just make sure you buy one at the other end", so the whole time I was on the train I was stressed they were going to ask for my ticket!! I had my $4 ready to hand to anyone walking by looking for tickets.
Finally we made it to our destination and started walking the "Brooklyn roads" (or the streets of salt lake, I feel a song coming on) and all of the eating establishments had long waits so we thought about our op ions and since neither of us are into "red red wine" we went and got the Island grill on! Yummy Rumbi! It was full inside, so we looked around to decide who would be the most entertaining couple to become acquainted with. Our options- 1. The awkward couple who insisted on sitting on the same side of the table instead of facing each other. 2. The couple you couldn't keep their hands off of each other and held hands the whole time they were eating 3. Join the family party in the south 40 of the complex or 4. Sit next to the nice looking older couple. We picked option 4, it seemed the most sane option. It turns out the couple was with a group of 8 that traveled from Idaho to come see Neil. Apparently Neil doesn't make it up to the potato state anymore, doesn't he know there are "Kentucky women" up there? Oh wait or Idahoans.
We walked to the Delta Center and EVERY single portal says no cameras and no cell phones! We started thinking that they were serious about that. We get in our seats and the anticipation starts. I am getting antsy in my seat muttering things to myself "then Sue came along, loved me strong..." Apparently I wasn't alone in my anticipation because in the middle of my rendition of "Solitary Man", the guy behind me yells, "Come on Neil I just want to hear some Cracklin' Rosie!" We all have our song you know! Don't worry then our anticipations were then settled as a mystery voice came over the intercom and said "the show will start shortly and be warned the lights will turn off abruptly" OH GOOD! When you say abruptly what do you mean? Oh well, Shortly, that is soon right? WRONG! We had to wait for Santa to show up, which he did. Funny though He was so little and his elf was SO BIG! It was strange too because the Elf's assistants were all posh! It was an interesting Christmas crew, but they got the attention they were looking to get. There were 4 members of Santa's crew in total. So once we were all in our seats and Santa had his moment to shine (I believe he was sufficiently well watered before arriving) the magical intercom voice comes on again, by this point I am just irritated so I ask "COME ON! Where was the abrupt lights out? What happened to Shortly? Neil, I am going to stop "Thankin' the Lord for the Night Time" if you don't start now!" Once my rampage ended, the lights started (SLOWLY) going out. Honestly hire me as the announcer at least I tell the truth.
Finally he came out and the #1Neilfan said "Hello Again Neil" and I said "Oh Neil, you look so much like yourself!" It was a "Beautiful Noise" and he came out with a POWERHOUSE play list! He sang "Love on the Rocks" and he went right into "Play Me" and we are back to the moment...I never dreamed this could happen. I am too young for the Neil appeal, but he said "turn on your heart light" baby and I said OK! Well that is a little extreme. Actually after #1Neilfan started laughing at me I joined him back in reality and danced with him through "Sweet Caroline"(Neil could sung this one all night and I would have been happy) and "America". We (well I, #1NEilfan is tougher then me) cried through "You Don't Bring me Flowers" Neil sang to my soul when he whipped out "I am I said". By the way Neil quick question who honestly needs a 15 piece band? There is a lot of personality on that stage up there with you! I am just afraid the Diana Ross/Tina Turner want to be back up singer of yours may steal the show! Hello Mr. Percussion, you make that look so easy! Oh wait...Neil, baby sorry I got distracted!
He encored with "Hallelujah" I walked away grateful that I had a chance to see Neil for myself and from the 6th row. Back on Trax we herded in and stood next the the DoRagman and his wife who didn't stop talking the whole time, then we got stepped on by the I have never stood on a train before girl, oh and I am pretty sure I saw my 5th grade teacher. Regardless, Banjosuey has officially seen Neil Diamond and LOVED it! Thanks #1Neilfan for being in charge of tickets! You rock!
Finally, for documentations sake, a picture of the evening: me and #1Neilfan. Proof that we LIVED on Friday!