Between a Rock and a Hard place...

Or perhaps sometimes you find your self sinking in sand...up to the rims

Don't worry, as long as you have a team of good faithful friends and some extra horse power you will eventually make it out.

You may need to brush off after because the odds that you face planted while sinking are great.

But lets be honest, as long as you can laugh it off and still have fun it doesn't matter how terrible your odds are. At least you made it out alive.

Some gals have all the luck

So I have a friend. She is lucky. In fact we will call her Lucky Scrunchy, partially because she named herself that and partially because she is the luckiest person I know. She is constantly winning concert/movie/sporting event tickets on the radio. She just has the luck.

I however, do not.

I wish I did. In fact recently I have tried a few things hoping it would change my luck, I thought it may be working until... well let me give you an example of my recent luck.

Monday July 13th- I found out my friend had access to Harry Potter Premier tickets for the next day. Granted we had to pay for them, but this was GREAT news considering I was leaving for Florida at the end of the week. I struck gold with out even trying.

Tuesday July 14th- I am EXCITED! Harry Potter here we come!! We are in the car, we are buckled, and we are on our way. LUCKILY we left early because we ran into some stop and go traffic on the freeway. It is okay though! We are going to Harry Potter and have reserved seats! BAM! CRUNCH! SERIOUSLY??? Yes, in fact I did get hit by a Semi Truck in stop and go traffic on the freeway. Yes, he had been behind me the whole time we were driving in the slow moving traffic. Yes, I did miss Harry Potter because of it and Yes, my car looks like crap. So much for that goldmine of luck.

*Please note Lucky Scrunchy and my sisters saw Harry Potter at a REALLY special premier on Monday- no they did not have to pay for their tickets, and no they did not get hit by a semi.

So I start working on my luck again and I get on the 1:00 am flight to Orlando FL. Fate would not let it be so. I sat by myself, next to some lovey dovey newlyweds. Super fun. Also I don't know exactly how, seeing how it was off, but sometime between the time we left Salt Lake to the time I got to Florida my phone battery decided to kick the can. Not a very good thing when you are constantly anticipating insurance people to call. Luckily Stevo has the same phone as me and I was able to get my message from my appraiser and work everything out there.

Back to being lucky then...we aren't able to get our hotel room until 4pm (please remember we came in on a 1am flight) the Hardy's start to get cranky after a bit. So we decide to go to Gatorland. Why not? None of us have ever been to Gatorland and it sounds like the perfect way to waste a day. Overall I was actually quite impressed and found my vacation was starting off quite well. We got some goofy pictures which make me laugh and the first few shows we went to were quite funny.

We decide to go to some of the shows one of which was called up close encounters. There are two men running the show and the first thing they ask is for anyone in the audience who is a little freaked out by "creatures" to raise their hands. Well, I don't particularly care for creature no, but I don't care what those dudes do with their hands/feet/neck or any other body part they sacrifice for creepy crawlies. Apparently I should have taken the question at face value though because next thing I know one of the men runs up behind me and sits a padlocked wooden box on the bench. I didn't look at him because I don't want to know what he is doing back there, but then he pokes me and says (pointing to the box) that one is yours.

**please note in this moment how I reacted and how I WANTED to react are two VERY VERY different things.

Lets start with what I wanted to say..."No thank you. I appreciate the gesture, but I prefer your hands/legs/neck and any thing else you want to sacrifice for wild creatures be the subjects of their evening dinner. I am doing just fine up here in the stands. Go you! I support you in your job."

Here is what happened...my eyes BULGED out of my head and I laughed awkwardly. My brother started busting a gut. The rest of my family just stared, and watched the man run back down to his buddy on the stage. Then I started to sweat. I thought I had been sweating before in the Florida heat, but no, NOW I was sweating. I was thinking fast...how am I going to get out of this? Why in the world when I get picked out of the audience does it have to be to hold a creature best left alone in nature? Why can't I be with Lucky Scrunchy at a concert right now? Heck why didn't I go to Harry Potter today??? Gatorland seriously? Who* goes to Gatorland?

*Note we do for pictures like this

The show really gets started now and first up is the other "lucky" person in the audience on the other side who got a box by her. The man opens her box and shows the audience two large Tarantulas. They tell her to close her eyes and open her hand...I look at Steve who is still laughing at my impending doom. The lady has her eyes closed but she is freaking out! She peaks right as her guys is about to drop the large hairy spider into her hand and she screams and runs. The spider fell on the sand. They were kind to her, but you could tell they really wished she would have just raised her hand in the first place instead of looking like a fool in front of the crowd.

Now I start feeling stupid...I can't look like her when I go up. Don't get me wrong I am a complete wimp, but she is pathetic. I am not ready to be pathetic. In fact I am to young to be pathetic. I just wanted to be lucky. I am honestly going to have to hold what ever is in my box. I thought I may die right in my moment of realization, but then my friend came running up the stairs. Thinking time was over.

We chat for a minute...He unlocks and glances in my box and slams the lid down. He tells me I don't have to come down...come to find out the snake in my box is so poisonous that he isn't even going to touch it with his hands...Stevo has a look of disappointment on his face and I breathe a sigh of relief. The ministers of luck were smiling down on me. I even started to enjoy the rest of the show until the end... They decided to let the audience pick which box should be opened for the last creature of the day. Of course it is the biggest of the boxes on the stage and they decided they needed a volunteer. Stevo starts laughing and my buddy on stage say, "well I know just the gal. I have a friend here, we have been friends for about 20 minutes, her name is Sue. Sue can you come help me please?" Oh crap he said please now I have to go.

How does my good run of bad luck end?

That is right. Holding the butt of a big old Boa Constrictor. At least I got the butt. My friend told me to call heads or tails and I am NO FOOL at least poop washes off (do snakes poop? I am sure they must...maybe I will wikipedia it) bite marks are much more permanent.

Welcome to Florida Sue! We are glad you were our LUCKY girl today.

A day in the life of Bob the Accountant

Meet Bob

Bob is an accountant. He was inspired by the other tax accountants in my life. Here is he is at the computer.

He lived like a normal man

He cooked some breakfast

And then ate it

He drove to work

And he WORKED

Then he would pack up and come home

In Fact he would drive home, much like he drove to work, but in a different direction.

He would enjoy an afternoon snack

And Answer the calls of nature

Oh sorry Bob, excuse me.

He was environmentally friendly, in fact he was thinking about going green

And he loved himself a good book

Bob always valued the importance of a good workout

Bob is also a great appreciator of music

At night he cozies up in his monkey blanket with his remote

Weekends were a real treat in Bob's world

Hiking was a passion

Fishing, or at least dreaming of fishing

Gardening the necessity

He loved games, and especially loved playing with the kids, even when they looked at him with disdain and loathing.

The struggle of Bob's life occurred every time the beginning of the year came around. Tax season is a beast. The kind of beast that causes those horror flick shrieking noises...EEK EEK EEK. Then came April 15th though. Bob felt so much relief he jumped for joy. Tragically, he jumped so high he head came into contact with a bat and his guts came flying out. Bob really was made of money because in fact he was a pinata stuffed full of gold coins. He will be missed. Don't worry though I saved his face as a memory.

There will always be this memory of Bob, the tax accountant pinata. You truly lived.

Holiday with the Hardy's

We know how to party. In fact I dare venture to say we party "Hardy". When we party there are a few things that are almost always a guarantee. One of those things is food. There will be TONS of FOOD. We usually plan on feeding 12 armies. I am not sure why. We really can't eat that much food, but we think we can. There is usually a wide variety of food too. It is hard to just pick one of two favorite dishes to make, plus what if someone doesn't like part of it? We need stuff that everyone will like. Therefore we need a TON!

Since it was Easter we of course had to dye some Eggs. Every year we have apx. 6 eggs per person. If you multiply it out that equals 78 hard boiled eggs. I don't know anyone that can eat, or use 78 hard boiled eggs before the excitement caused by colored eggs wears off. It usually only takes a day or two and the poor rejected eggs live in the fridge until the coloring on the shell becomes so unnatural that someone finally take pity on the fridge and throw them out. This year I talked my mom down to four eggs per person (my goal was 2 per person). I was excited that she even agreed to dropping the number down, but when I got home that afternoon I discovered 6 eggs per person waiting to be dyed. Old habits really do die hard. When all is said and done, after 2 bowls of extremely "eggie" potato salad and pawning off as many eggs as we could there are still 2 dozen in the fridge. Just waiting for their turn to break out of the dark enclosed spaces that surround them. Wow that is deep on so many levels.

The other thing about dying eggs is the box of dye you buy at the grocery store, or in our case at the Walmarts. It came with 14 colors. Or that is what the package said! That is excellent news for people who have 78 eggs to dye. Come to find out though 14 means 6 colors times 2 and then 2 special extra colors. So really there were only 8 colors. That is okay though, when you have 78 eggs to dye they all start looking the same after a few eggs anyways. Occasionally someone gets all crazy and pulls out rubber bands or crayons or something to makes the eggs more exciting. Oh wait that someone was me. Rubber Bands do make a cool looking dyed Easter egg.

Usually a Hardy Holiday includes some sort of Crazy Project too. This crazy project 95% of the time revolves around food and usually start with my brain. Back at Christmas it was doughnuts, for Easter we made Cream Eggs. Now I am humbly going to admit that HANDS DOWN they are better then any cream egg you can buy at the store. Go us! It was quite a fun project. My job was the cream filling so naturally I didn't follow the recipe and ended up with 3 different flavors of cream filling. Butter Cream was the biggest hit, Almond and Vanilla were both great though. Liz was in charge of the chocolate (because even with meltable I manage to burn it sometimes!)

Then to differentiate them we let Megan be in charge of drizzle, a different color for each different flavor. They turned out beautifully. Tragically there is still a whole bag of these still living in the fridge too. Luckily these will actually keep for a while and not turn unnatural colors nor will they release odors. Chocolate eggs are Heaven sent.

Tragically there is still a whole bag of these still living in the fridge too. Luckily these will actually keep for a while and not turn unnatural colors nor will they release odors. Chocolate eggs are Heaven sent.

Finally the blessed Holiday actually comes and we eat all the food that we have prepared...or we eat a third of the food we have prepared. Then we have an egg hunt. Well not really a hunt as most of the eggs are just laying on the grass so it really isn't too hard to find. You do have to be careful though, you can only pick up the eggs that have your name and color on them or you could start a brawl. Mine are light purple. My favorite egg contained a five dollar bill. Lets just say it was a great Easter season.

If I were a cupcake...

I would be a Toasted Almond Cupcakes with Caramel Frosting. So says Betty Crocker at least. It was a fun test and Betty Crocker is my new favorite website and their recipes have been great. So I would recommend you go check it out...What cupcake would you be?

http://www.bettycrocker.com/Community/QuizCupboard/CupcakeQuestions.aspx?Quiz=Cupcake

The Dog jumped over the moon

My Dad had a dream about our dog last night.

Ferocious beast, I know.

Let me tell you about my dog; he is annoying. He is really fury and his favorite pass time is barking at people. When MY SISTERS brought him home we decided he needed a big, strong, and powerful name. You see he was so little and we didn't want him to have a complex so we gave him a big name. Many were discussed including Star Trek characters (we once had a cat named Oboe, oh wait or Odo I guess it the right name. That's not what I called the poor cat.), tons of names from Lord of the Rings, a few from Harry Potter, but we finally settled on the Greek God Hercules (Thank Heavens we didn't go for Zeus! Just thing of the power complex my dog would have then!) It is my theory that Herc (his nick name because those are required in our household) took his name to heart and head and he truly believes he is a big dog. That explained, yes my dog is mentally ill, but lets face it we all are.

Wow I get easily side tracked! Back to the dream. Oh wait...one more thing you need to know, Herc doesn't really do downstairs. He will go upstairs, but not down. I think he is scared of the basement. He hasn't even seen Silence of the Lambs or the Burbs! He must have a 6th sense about it.

(Please note he is chewing the plastic, not the actual toy.)

So my Dad had a dream that Herc ran down into the basement. He went down after him and picked him up and notice a wet spot on the carpet so he rubbed the dream Herc's nose in it (doggie toilet training technique apparently). As he was standing back up to walk Herc upstairs he saw another Herc looking dog run out from behind the couch, then another behind the furnace, and yet another from the toy room. Needless to say the Hercs were multiplying before his eyes. He assumed his kids had been bringing home all the stray Hercs they could find because they felt bad for the poor rascals and the egos that caused them to have no friends and family. Needless to say he woke up about this point and recounted the story after we read the scriptures as a family. I pointed out that none of his children are really into hoarding dogs but he on occasion had problems with forgetting he already got something and the Hercs could have been the result of such a mental blockade. Lucky for all of us it was just a dream. There aren't any extra Hercs hiding out in my house.

On a happier dream note, for the first time ever I remember my dream having a resolution!! I don't remember much about it but it ended with me sending some piano students out the front door and me saying goodbye with my best Donna Reed voice. The door closed scene fades to black and the alarm goes off. It was a beautiful moment at 5:15 this morning!

I just opened my eyes part deux

I drove to Riverton for lessons again last night. Guess what I saw when I opened my eyes? That is right...another peacock! Probably the same one actually, but I have learned that if one of the peacocks get out the goal is to chase it until it flies back over the fence. Hopefully next time I will have the courage to try it instead of just closing my eyes pretending it isn't there!

P.S. Riverton has lots of strange urbanized animals. I swear I saw a pig walking in someones yard yesterday. Don't worry the llama and goats have come out too since winter is hopefully really over.